Turchino Rain

Flash Fiction (Unfinished)- Who Are You?

Fri, 14 May 2021 02:38:11 GMT

An unfinished piece of fiction I was working on when I was going through some personal issues of my own a few years bac.

Who in the world did I marry?

It was a hell of a question to ask. And here Janice was, lying in bed sleepless and asking that question to herself.

Who the hell did I marry?

Two years of marriage preceded by years of pining and longing; how did it all come to this? To her struggling to stop crying while in bed next to a man that she no longer knew. While her beloved snored on peacefully beside her unaware that she may not even love-

No.

She can't let herself think that way. She can't let herself finish that sentence even in her head. Janice closed her eyes and felt a fresh set of tears swell up behind her eyes. Her hand strayed to her stomach. Maybe this was why she lost the baby. She should have been well into six months by now, but there hadn't been anything there for a long time now. But maybe this was the reason why. Neither of them was making money and she was lying in bed questioning their marriage. How could they possibly bring a baby into this?

"I'm just not that passionate about it I guess," he had shrugged, "You know, I read that most people don't even start to be successful until they're well into their thirties. I got time."

Janice had looked at him, baffled, "It's not about the money. It's about putting your heart and soul into something that you care about."

Janice had fallen in love with Arthur for many reasons, his passion was one of the major ones. He loved helping people, he had a passion for photography and wanted to see the world. And she wanted to write about it, write about him and all the adventures he would have.

Four years of college and she felt like her bachelor's in English only scratched the surface of the literary world. But since she had to live in the real world, Janice had to get a job. Bills had to be paid and she didn't want to live with her parents forever. But she didn't want him to work. Arthur was a brilliant photographer, a charming and outgoing person. Anyone who worked with him loved him. He was so passionate about capturing the beauty of the world around him, that he worked for free for years. But even he acknowledged that real money could be made through his career path. He had the experience, the skills, and the connections. All he needed was the opportunity.

Aside from a few paid gigs, despite being on the payroll of two different companies as a freelancer- Arthur never had a steady job in his life.

Janice worked part time during high school and full time during college and part of grad school. As a matter of fact, she had to drop to part time pursuing her graduate degree because it became too much to do both, work and school, full time. It had been grueling, she felt like she was putting her dreams on hold, but it was worth it for him. She didn’t want him to suffer the way she did. Janice thought that Arthur had too much talent and potential to spend even so much as twenty hours a week stuck in an office or behind a cash register.

Janice worked to pay bills for him, so he could focus on his photography. So, he could focus on his dream of photographing the world without the mundane worry about paying bills. So, he wouldn't miss an opportunity to travel because of some company's schedule.

It took him seven years to finish school. And his interests strayed to other things. A damn videogame.

It started out innocently. Gene introduced him to it. They played together on weekends. But Gene had a full-time job and a wife and a baby to support. Arthur delved deeper into the community. Message boards, tournaments, videos. He never fit the stereotype of the addicted, obsessed gamer. He didn't live with his parents. He was still social and charming outside of the videogame community. He didn't spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on games and systems. And he had a wife.

There was only one game.

At first it was a way to spend his free time after classes and between gigs. Janice enjoyed his involvement in something that took his stress away. And she learned about his vulnerability.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything," he told her in a moment of true honesty and openness. He lay in her arms after they made love, taking their intimacy further, deeper. "I feel all this pressure to be better. People with half the skills but better connections are getting jobs but I'm still stuck where I am. At least playing in these tournaments make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. I'm better now than when I first started playing and I can see that."

It had been the first time Arthur had told her anything so personal. The first time he had revealed a desire to her that was more self than others. Janice had been moved that he had told her this. His desire to great in his own name, not for the sake of others.

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Too much of a good thing, a.k.a Extra large chapter

Wed, 12 May 2021 02:19:05 GMT

So I have a conundrum that I've experienced writing for a small fandom; lack of reviews. It's an unsurprising problem. A small fandom means that there is an extreme lack of participation of both content creators and content consumers. For fanfiction though, I've encountered an unique aspect to this problem- lack of meaningful reviews. Not that I don't appreciate each and every review I do get on anything I make. (I'm a relative unknown everywhere I go haha). But sometimes, you work really long and really hard on a chapter and it can be discouraging to just get a generic "good chapter" review.

Sometimes I think it's my fault though. I expect too much from a fandom that has so little. It's part of the problem that I have with my writing outgrowing the fandom. I try to make each chapter count every time I update. Not every chapter has an update but every chapter does have an important moment or piece of character development. The kind of stuff that I crave feedback for. A clever conversation, a developing romance, a hilarious moment.

I'll never forget the time when I had a character with an absent mother figure that she idolized. When you finally meet her, she's every bit as illustrious and glamourous as the character built her up to be. But then it turns out that the mother hates the character for an accident she caused as a child. The mother even goes as far as to use her magic to attempt to cut off her daughter's air supply without her even realizing it was her own mother doing it. It was the first major plot twist I've ever tried pulling off in my writing. You know what review I received after I posted it? "That was an interesting chapter. I can't wait for the next update." Which was extremely similar to other chapters I've posted in the past without nearly the same level of writing.

It was heartbreaking and I pretty much discontinued my story shortly after that. What was the point? By that point, the only people reviewing were fellow writers. We had an understanding back then that since we were the only people in the fandom, we would review each other's work because no one else would.

A few years later, I began writing again on a new site for a new audience. This time I would write for myself and not care about the reviews or recognition. It's a lot easier said than done, but it does feel better this time around. This go-round, I learned something- if you want your readers to focus on something, it's got to be the sole focus of your chapter. You still might get the occasional brief review but still.

Unless the pacing requires multiple focus points. Then it can get a little tricky. One chapter I wrote I modeled it after the way a show sometimes has the main characters split up and do several things at once but they all come together by the end. I went over the pacing over and over again before I published and everything seemed good. Everything moved smoothly and swiftly without lagging or over exposition. Several really cool things happened in the chapter; character motives revealed, comedic moments, tense moments. It ended up being 25 pages. I got a two sentence review saying it was good. From then on, I limited my chapters to 15 pages max and one to two focus points.

Now for the current application of this problem; I'm already 15 pages into my new chapter that has multiple POV changes and plot points. The main focal point is that one of my character's, Fina, feels like she's being replaced and ignored by the main character, Joe, because he's met a new girl and is on the phone with her constantly. Their other friends, Fred and Sam, notice Fina becoming more distant and withdrawn. The chapter has about four parts that I feel like are important to the series overall.

Joe's POV- Establishes his growing relationship with another female character who will become more important as the series goes on. Also reveals how he's been inadvertedly been ignoring Fina because he's so caught up with his new relationship.
Fina's POV- She snaps and reaches the pinnacle of one of her character arcs.
Fred POV- He finally notices Fina's distress and the two become closer and establishing a new relationship
Sam's POV- Contains scenes furthering his relationship with another character and Fina, and sets the stage for another story.

I feel like all four of these components are important to both this story and future stories in this series. But I'm already hitting at 15 page mark (7,125 words) and I feel like I'm maybe half way done. I'd hate to break this into two parts because that's what I've had to do with the last chapter. Maybe I'll post an update on this in a few weeks after I post.

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Flash fiction- Desire, Page, Argument

Tue, 11 May 2021 22:53:14 GMT

A small piece of flash fiction I wrote for a discord contest. The contest was to use the words desire, argument, and page in a short story.

Joe sat at his desk in his room, a book opened in front of him, but his eyes don’t see a single word. He’s too upset and frustrated to concentrate. His daily session with Joleena had ended in yet another argument. He doesn’t even remember how the fight started. One minute they were talking, then they were fighting, and the next thing Joe knew, he was storming out of her house with her angry words still burning in his ears. And his throat raw from yelling back at her.

Joe sighed and turned back a page when he realized that he hadn’t read a thing. He didn’t know why he yelled at her. He doesn’t even remember what he was yelling about. Or what she was yelling about. All he knows is that she was angry, and then he was angry. And it seemed to be happening more and more lately.

Next to his book, his phone remained dark and silent. Their fight was hours ago. Why hadn’t she called or texted him yet? She was probably waiting for him to apologize first. But he wasn’t going to. Not this time. He was tired of her stubbornness, her snobby attitude, and her total disregard for his feelings. He was done with her. For good.

“Then why can’t I stop thinking about her!?”

Joe shot to his feet and started pacing around his room, talking to himself like a crazy person.

“She’s such an arrogant, annoying, brat!” He fumed. “I bet she’s not even thinking about me right now. She doesn’t even like me. She’s just helping me because her dad made her. Well, if she doesn’t care, then I don’t care. I’m done! I mean it this time! I’m done with the drama and I’m done with her!”

He flopped onto his bed and opened up a comic book, ready to relax and forget about this whole day. But even as his eyes scan over the illustrations, all he can see is Joleena. The warm chocolate of her skin. Her deep brown eyes. The way her lips curl into a small, almost hidden smile when he’s showing her his latest card trick and she’s trying not to show that she’s actually entertained.

“Really, Joe? Aren’t we too old for card tricks?” She’d say with an elegant roll of her eyes.

“Maybe,” Joe would answer with a grin, “But you enjoy them.”

It was why he still did card tricks. Just to see her smile. Even if she tried to hide it, he still knew. Because he knows her. Knew her.

Joe shook his head and let the comic fall over his face. If he was so done with her, then why did he still have this desire to see her smile? The desire to catch the scent of her perfume whenever she flipped her hair. And even the desire to just sit close to her and see the light blush across her face when their arms touched.

“Because I love her,” Joe mumbled in resignation, his voice muffled by the comic.

It was the only explanation. No matter how mad he got; no matter how loudly they yelled at each other; no matter how loud the door slammed- none of the bad times could compare to the good times. Heck, the bad times couldn’t even compare to average times. Phone conversations that lasted until well past two a.m. Burning cookies in her kitchen because she refused to look at a cookbook. Just sitting on the couch doing homework next to each other even though they don’t have the same classes.

Joe peeked out from under his comic and glanced out his phone, but looked away again.

“I can’t call her first,” He mumbled, “I can’t always be the one to apologize first. We can’t work if I’m always the one giving in.”

But his phone remained silent. What if Joleena never called? What if she never wants to be the one to apologize first? Did that mean she didn't care about him as much as he cared about her? It wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility. She was rich. His mom worked in the library. Her family vacationed in the Bahamas. If he was lucky, his family went camping for vacation. If it wasn’t for her father signing her up to be a tutor, they probably would have never met. Maybe it would have been easier that way.

A soft knock sounded on his door, but Joe doesn’t bother getting up.

“Go away, Anna,” He mumbled, assuming that it was his annoying little sister.

“Fine,” She answered, “But I guess I’ll take your visitor with me.”

Joe glanced up expecting to see one of his friends, but he shot up instead and stared. Joleena waved at him shyly from behind his smug sister. Her designer clothes look out of place in the backdrop of his ordinary house.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Anna said, finally moving away, “But leave the door open you two.”

Joe felt his face heat up, “Go away, Anna!”

Then it’s just the two of them. Joe awkwardly lounging on his bed. Joleena awkwardly standing in his doorway. They glanced at each other and quickly looked away. Joe doesn’t know what to say and it seemed like she didn’t either. The fight from earlier clearly shook the both of them.

“Um,” Joleena cleared her throat first. “Are you busy?”

“Uh...” Joe realized the position he was in and quickly sat up, stowing his comic under the pillow, “N-no. I’m not busy. Come in.”

Joleena’s heels made no noise on the carpet as she walked across the room and sat at his vacant desk. Joe swallowed his disappointment that she didn’t try to sit next to him on the bed. Maybe the reason she came here was to tell him off in person. End things between then for good. Joe sat up straighter, preparing himself not to break down in front of her when she did. If she thought they couldn’t work, then he had his answer.

But then she said something he never expected her to say.

“I’m sorry,” Her voice was quiet but firm, “The fight was my fault. I overreacted to what you said and lost my temper.”

Joe’s mouth fell open in shock. In all the fights they had, Joleena never apologized first. At least, not so blatantly. She even took the blame for the fight that he had just as much a part of. And know he could do what she usually did. Flippantly accept her apology and dismiss the fight entirely. But how would they learn from that?

“I’m sorry too,” He said instead, “I think we both acted pretty badly.”

Joleena chuckled dryly. She gave him a weary smile, “Why do we do this to each other? We get so mad and every argument blows up into this huge fight.”

“I don’t know,” Joe shrugged but already he felt warmer just seeing her smile again, “Maybe we’re both really passionate people.”

“And stubborn.”

“And immature.”

“And selfish,” She gave him a pointed, teasing look.

“And spoiled,” He shot back with a smirk.

Joleena giggled and her eyes became warm, “But sweet. And funny. And cute.”

Joe’s face warmed and he couldn’t stop the grin from stretching across his face even if he tried, “You think I’m cute?”

Joleena rolled her eyes and stood up, but there was no missing the blush on her face, “I should go. My father will be expecting me home for dinner. I just... wanted to see you in person. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Joe nodded and watched as she started to leave. His chest felt light and airy.

“I love you.”

Joleena stiffened, one foot out of the doorway. Her was back to him so he couldn’t see her face. Joe said those words out loud without meaning to, but there was no taking them back now.

“I love you, too,” She whispered, and then she was gone.

Joe sat staring at where she had been only seconds before, replaying those three little words over and over again. He vaguely wondered if the grin on his face would be permanent. He actually wouldn’t mind.

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What is Twists of Time?

Mon, 10 May 2021 22:50:17 GMT

Okay, let me get this out of the way; Twists of Time is a Time Warp Trio fanfiction.

But it's so much more than that.

( Read more... )

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Another workday done...

Mon, 10 May 2021 21:47:13 GMT

I sometimes have trouble keeping up a good work ethic when it comes to my personal projects. I run out of steam and out of passion and I end up starting a new project before I finish another one. So now that I'm a stay at home mom, I spend work hours between 8am to 430pm working on my Rebel Beast series (an original animates series idea). But now it's writing time (and also marketing myself on social media time because I'm practically invisible lol)

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What is Rebel Beast?

Mon, 10 May 2021 16:37:30 GMT

Rebel Beast is my own, original idea that I'm making into an animated series. It's a sci-fi, teen, action series that takes place in a futuristic city-state where the government has sole power and authority and the citizens are treated unequally. One of the main characters is Allan, a young genius who benefits from the government, and thinks that they're doing their best in a world of depleted resources and a hostile environment. The other main character is Ren, a rebellious, mysterious girl who thinks that the government is corrupt to the core and needs to be destroyed. She also harbors a secret; the ability to turn into a beast- a species of monstrous creature that started appearing in the wilderness after The War. Together Allan and Ren, blah, blah, blah, opposites attract, blah, blah, blah teen adventures, blah, blah, blah, same goal, different objectives.

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What to do...

Mon, 10 May 2021 15:50:28 GMT

Baby fed, breakfast eaten, and now it's time for me to work (super late start) but I'm torn. I had a hard day yesterday so I don't really feel like working but I know I have to. I'm torn between two options. I could work on one of my chapters. I have a few POVs I need to work through in order to hit the plot points I need to hit.

On the other hand, I am supposed to be working on my Rebel Beast pitch bible for the next five weeks. I should probably be working on that. A have an outline worked out and a lot of the information spread across different documents, but I still have a lot of illustrations I have to draw and compile the whole thing together.

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